Storytime: What I Learnt From My Rape Incident

Photography by Uli Klein

A couple of years ago, I filed a DVO against my ex-partner - for rape and strangulation. The whole process of getting police to believe me was horrendous - and they tried to put the blame back on me. Because I consented to the sex at the beginning, then halfway he didn’t take no as an answer, BUT because I consented to it at beginning, it wasn’t called ‘rape’. Anyway, what did I learnt from this about this big incident and dating with men in general?

It Wasn’t My Fault That I Got Raped

Some people say that I was to be blamed for this rape incident. This is not true, I feel I got unlucky - and met the wrong people at the wrong time.

Be Patient In Seeking A Partner

I used to be really impatient when it comes to finding love…and I searched in the wrong places - I would go to bars and nightclubs. I thought it was ‘the easiest way’ to meet new people. But soon learnt that it is not the ideal place to find a long term partner.

I Was Too Vulnerable

OK, there’s a difference in being vulnerable in sharing your story in front of an audience as a mental health talk, but what about being vulnerable in terms of finding love? Like I said, I turned to bars and nightclubs to meet men. I was vulnerable, and fell into many traps. I thought that if I had sex early with a guy, they would love/like me more. But of course, I learnt that these men would take advantage of me.