I Tell You, If I Could Walk Away From These Voices, I Would.

Recently they have caused a lot of stress and distress in my life and been escalating, to the point I was admitted into emergency mental health for them. My sleeping pattern has been good, I eat a 3-meal balanced diet, I exercise, I take medications and the question is why do I still hear voices? Wish I would knew with a click of a finger, but in all honesty I don't. What I do know is that I had some traumatic events happened in my life. For one example, my younger sister recently was admitted to the mental health ward for the first time, and this put a spun on my mental health. I have hope that while I am still in rehab, I can support her as well. I am living proof that this complex mental health system can be used to our advantage. 

Recently the voices gave me commands. They told me to "Look left." whilst walking down the street, and I looked left. Startled by the genderless voice, I was shocked I acted on their command. I did not know why I did that. I have been startled by them again later that day, and they told me to burn my hand on the stovetop. 

I am glad I didn't hurt my hand though.

Following that incident, my PRN medications were popped open and soon drowsiness overwhelmed from the medications. I believe there are effective ways of managing and understanding these voices. But normally I just shout back at them, and talk to them like a friend at times. The former works, most of the time. But when it doesn't, I am in for a rollercoaster of a ride. 

Photo by Winston Boon Photography