How To Not Love With Bipolar

Photo by Rendezvous Photography

For me, looking back into my past, I wish I didn’t go through some things.

For example,  I wish I knew how hard it was going to love someone else before getting into the relationship.

Sometimes I’m manic, sometimes I’m depressed.

I found having Bipolar makes me a bit harder to date.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t be loved, and feel loved.

Definitely, hypersexuality was present in my life for quite some time. I found it extremely difficult to control myself from going to the clubs and being vulnerable.

Be taken advantage of, being used, being abused.

I am also a DV survivor, I have met one of my ex at the club (which isn’t the best place) but I still ‘gave him a chance’, and it turned out to be one of the worst relationships I’ve been in. I even tried to put a DV order against him for rape, and apparently “I didn’t had enough evidence”, and so my case wasn’t successful on my end.

Well, I’m proud to say I’m a DV survivor, because there are many women who would relate to me and my unique experience.

Loving with Bipolar is hard.
It’s hard work.
Like any relationship.

But I learnt love in different, and hard ways.

My family really never approve the guys I meet to be honest.

They say I don’t have a good taste in men, meaning that I can’t ever find true love because I always pick the wrong type of guys, they are protective of me (especially my grandparents). They always told me to not date men I’ve met in clubs. But I didn’t listen to them, and learnt love the hard way.

I had to get a STI to learn such a powerful lesson in life.

I even allowed my grandparents to ‘match make’ me with a guy in Vietnam.

They looked at his horoscopes, and they say both of us are aligned well.

This relationship lasted for 13 months only.
We did long distance and it was very hard.

I never kissed him.

I never even hugged him.

Well at least I gave the relationship a go.

I learnt that I can be in a relationship without being able to do the physical and sexual side of things.

I believe every relationship I’ve had, whether it’s short-term or long-term, there is a lesson to learn from it. It’s not easy to go into the relationship with full confidence.

Learning to make it work with the other person is hard already it is.

I try to not doubt my capabilities.

I am a unique human with qualities that are attractive.