How To Love With Bipolar

Photo by Vishal Panchal Photography

I feel my experience with experiencing romantic love has been a hit and miss.
After my first boyfriend broke up with me, I wanted him back but he didn’t want me anymore. He also said he was planning to propose to me.

Thinking back and reflecting on it, I’m not sure if I wanted to trust his words about the proposal.

We were together for over two years, we tried to live together, we spent a lot of time together. And when I reflect back, I feel I have been raped in this relationship too. He didn’t and couldn’t take no as an answer. Some days we would do it five times a day.

SO how does this experience shape me on what I find is true love?

True love is not all just about sex. True love to me is giving yourself to the other person, serving one another, being able to communicate assertively, making sacrifices and more.

My experiences of being abused are still very clear to me.

So clear.

I want to give myself all the self-love I need before committing to a new relationship. It’s not easy to do this, but I’m enjoying my single life as much as I can.

 What are my tips for those with Bipolar who want to find love?

Firstly, invest time in yourself.
Into your well-being. Love starts with YOURSELF first.

You need to build that foundation of loving yourself, accepting yourself for who you are.

You are unique and everyone with a mental illness has a different set of values and qualities. Just like how there’s no two DNA the same.

Accepting yourself for who you are is the first step to finding love.

When the right person comes, they will continue to build that foundation you have made for yourself.

Don’t find love so you can feel complete in yourself.

Especially having Bipolar, I believe someone is there and comes at the right timing in my life when I have built that foundation in myself.

I want to be self-aware as much as possible. Be able to do know my signs and symptoms when I get unwell – when I hear voices and have anxiety attacks.

Then when the right person comes, I can educate them on how to look after me. Teach and educate them what my signs and symptoms.

Life is better with two people, but there are must be understanding and mutual respect.

Communication is important too.

This brings me to the next part, can people with Bipolar live fulfilling lives?

Yes, of course.

We are all human beings with unique qualities as I mentioned earlier.

Loving someone with Bipolar is just the same as loving someone without.

We are all human.

Sometimes I wonder if my Bipolar ‘gets in the way’ of me finding true love.

I am someone unique, beautiful, and worthy of love.

Yes, anyone is worthy of love – not just people with Bipolar.

People with Bipolar are very compassionate and creative beings.

For example, Van Gogh had Bipolar. He was an artist, just like me.

I think sometimes I look for love in the wrong places. The places that make me vulnerable, for example- finding love at the clubs was not the best place to meet new people, and for some reason I still fell into the trap thinking I could have a long term relationship with someone who I met at the club.