How God Changed My Life
Photo by Samantha Gehrmann
Religion. Denominations. God. What is God? How does God help with one's life? How does God let catastrophes and sad world events happen? There are many more questions that a pre-believer, new believer or even other existing Christians ask God all the time. I did not accept God into my life until late 2013 or so. Before that, I was just an ordinary girl, but I am still I feel. Sure, I would say I was buddhist and listen to some buddhist chanting songs now and then but I didn't and wholeheartedly pour my heart into that faith. I felt something was missing in my life. Something that was stronger, something more long-lasting, and sometime I can be more faithful in my life. Now, if you read in my previous posts, you would know I suffer from depression and on medications and other various therapy for them. My darkest days before I became Christian I remember was when I was lying in my bed in my room and wanting to end my life. My life was not full of purpose, and I felt worthless and undeserving of life. I even acted upon those feelings but God was always with me. God held me back from ending my life, even though I didn't trust in Him. He saved me till this day. He knew I was going to gave my life to Him a few years later after those suicidal attempts. There is so much more to life than feeling all these depressed feelings, and being negative I learnt. But Depression is not a sign of weakness I learnt as well, it's the most vulnerable of them all are the strongest. Those who release their feelings to the world when their world is collapsing around them.
I think everyone needs to realise that their spiritual life is as important as their physical, mental and emotional life. The fact that not everyone has given their life to God sometimes makes me feel sad. Sure, I respect everyone's choices and decisions, but I would hate to see someone to not believe that God is not on their side to help them through their tough times. I know for a fact that when I don't even pray about it, God gives me signs that He is always there for me. He stopped me from holding the knife and slitting my wrists with it. He stopped me from overdosing from my prescribed drugs. There is nothing more precious than...life. Life is beautiful and I am learning to appreciate it more and more each day, as I grow older. I sometimes wonder as well why people are prosecuted in such horrible ways in life. I am still a baby Christian. I am sill finding my feet. I don't want people to tell me exactly what to do...to be more like them, or be a certain type of Christian. Sometimes I feel I have to be a certain character for people. It's sad, isn't it? This post is really personal. Thanks for reading it up till now.