Why I Stopped Posting Publicly Suicidal Threats On Social Media

I remember I used to be really unwell. Like, really unwell. Unwell to the point I would update my status updates on Facebook, "feeling suicidal". I feel looking back, I was partly looking for attention... and on the other hand, I was crying for help. The comments I received when I updated my statuses were a bunch of friends who were worried and asked me if I was ok, and some even specifically said to me to "chin up" which didn't help much to be honest. Of course I did not reply to the messages anymore that I find not helpful. I feel looking back, my status updates were more of passive-aggressive threats. To see who would truly care about me and actually be there for me. Even one friend who I barely spoke to knew where I lived, and almost called an ambulance to my place to see I was okay.

Looking back, I feel Facebook can be used for certain uses, we see a lot of people only post the "best" part of their lives - photos from holidays, prestigious events, to graduation photos for example. But I am intrigued as to why (and how!) I feel the need to use social media as a cry for help. It's interesting isn't it? And at times, it has bit me back on the butt-side for "oversharing" too much. I guess it's also good to see who your true 'social media' friends are. 

So I learned that posting suicidal thoughts has its advantages and disadvantages. But I choose to not use it when I am feeling suicidal anymore. I have different ways to cope without using social media.

Photography by Winston Boon